How do I tell a woman so much younger
that she’s exquisite, that I admire her intellect?
That the way she looks at me disconcerts,
that I haven’t felt this way in many years?
I don’t; it’s safer to ask her to close me out,
for me to find some bills, pay and tip her.
It must be my imagination. I walk out
into the night’s enfolding silence. Here my
thoughts batter me, safely. Anyway, I’m on
foot. I think I have the energy to make it home.
Andrew Shattuck McBride
April 22, 2012
I didn’t use a prompt for this, my NaPoWriMo Day 22 poem.
A bit risky, I think. No, not risky in not using a prompt!
Simply… a bit risky. However, I will add in my defense that
as writers and poets we need to take risks and be able to do so.
[wherever was I leaving from? Well, a bar…. Ahh, there’s my
need to explain everything – again!]
Press on with your writing and risk-taking!
Best wishes, Andy
Risky, yes–and well worth the risk. Brilliant phrases like “ask her to close me out” and “the night’s enclosing silence” convey just how firmly and “safely” the lid is slammed shut on these emotions. That kind of restraint, too, is a little dangerous in its power–another successful risk.
Jennifer, thank you so much!
When I talk with a bartender or waitress, I usually ask her to “cash me out” or “close me out.”
In this case, I really like “close me out.”
Thanks again! YOU are AWESOME!